My Story -
What I couldn't say in 650 words

There once was a girl.
My parents adopted me at birth. 

I had curly blond hair and a happy disposition. I was a pretty "normal" kid. ​I couldn't get comfortable in clothes, especially if they had seams, lace, or anything with a waistband, dresses, or socks. My skin felt like it was on fire if I wore anything too fitted. I began wearing boy's clothing when I was five.

I told my parents that I thought I was a boy.
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Luckily, I found sports! Soccer, skiing, and softball kept me busy and active year-round and focused on something other than my sensory issues. I played on school teams and club teams. I craved team spirit and competition. In softball, I found my happy place, and I still dream of playing softball in college.

My parents decided to move our family to Vermont when I was in 9th grade. I had to leave lifelong friends and the only house I had ever known. I love Vermont and had spent all my winter weekends skiing in the Green Mountains, BUT I didn't want to move. I had to get used to a much smaller school. It is tough to make friends when everyone lives so far apart, and you don't drive. I struggled in 9th grade, and it impacted everything in my life. My studies, family relationships, and well-being all suffered. Even playing soccer, basketball, and softball didn't help tame the anxiety I was feeling. My grades tanked. One day, right after a basketball game, I told my Mom I was bi-sexual. She was supportive, and I think, relieved to have "it" out in the open.

Coming out to my parents and friends didn't make my anxiety go away. I continued to question who I was and struggled to express my identity. My parents decided that wilderness therapy and a therapeutic boarding school would help me learn how to manage my anxiety. The smaller classes would better match my learning preference. I spent my Junior year in Utah, and although it was hard, it was the best thing I have ever done. 
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Soon after I arrived in Utah, I told my parents I am Transgender. This news is more challenging for them to understand, but they love me and want me to be happy. I now go by Paeton, and he/him. I like being who I am today and not hiding anymore. The support I have received from my family, friends, and teachers is the best thing that has happened to me. I am happier than I was in the past. I am confident in the person I am today, and I am not afraid to share who I am with others. 

I told my parents that I would like to be called Paeton and go by he/him.

I have returned to Burr and Burton to finish my Senior Year. At first, I was nervous about returning to school as Trans, but it felt right to come home and complete my Senior year at BBA. I am both excited and a bit nervous. I feel freer and more confident in myself. I feel like I can be whoever I want to be. I now have the tools to help me manage my social anxiety. I am going to have a fantastic year!

 It feels like a miracle that I can now express myself and show the real me.
​I know I have a bright future ahead of me, and I want to help others who struggle with anxiety, sexual identity, or low self-esteem to love themselves and see their bright futures.

If It Were Easy, They Would Call It Baseball!

Softball is My Passion
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​I began playing softball when I was seven-years-old. I have lost track of how many games I have played. I have played on some great teams, and I have played on teams that never won a game...for an entire season. Softball has taught me how to be a great teammate, a humble winner, and a better loser. 

I had to learn the hard lesson that the position I wanted to play wasn't always the position the team needed me to play. I used to resent this. It made me a better player. I can now play 3rd base, shortstop, or right field interchangeably. Missing the opportunity to play my Junior year was tough, really tough. I do not regret it at all.

I learned a lot about myself, and the time I spent taming my anxiety will take me further in life than my favorite pastime will ever take me.